Praise and dispraise.

If a person hears praise of himself too much he becomes arrogant, and if he hears dispraise of himself too much he breaks down. What is obligatory is to be political with yourself; when praised you should recall your shortcomings so that you don’t become arrogant, and when dispraised you should recall your good so that you don’t break down.

إذا كثر سماع الإنسان لمدحه تكبر وإذا كثر سماع ذمه انكسر والواجب سياسة النفس فعند المدح يتذكر تقصيره فلا يتكبر وعند الذم يتذكر خيره فلا ينكسر

Sh Tarefe

Don’t seek perfection from everyone.

Don’t seek perfection from everyone. Bring people closer to good in proportion to how far they are from it, for the one far from it is not the same as the one near it. This is not considered disorder in you, rather it is the very essence of wisdom.

لا تطلب الكمال من كل أحد، قرّب الناس إلى الخير بمقدار بعدهم عنه، فليس البعيد عنه كالقريب منه، فهذا ليس من الاضطراب فيك بل هو عين الحكمة

Sh Tarefe



You can attract people to evil through gentleness more than you can attract them to good through harshness, and even if they are convinced [to do the good], they would hate doing it. He ﷺ said, “Whoever is deprived of gentleness is, in fact, deprived of all good.”

يستطيع الإنسان جذب الناس بالرفق إلى الشر، أكثر من جذبهم بالفظاظة إلى الخير، ولو اقتنعوا كرهوا العمل به قال ﷺ (من يُحرم الرفق يحرم الخير كله

Sh Tarefe

Good and evil

Recognizing good and evil is not sufficient, for you may recognize good but find yourself reluctant in doing it and you may recognize evil but find yourself drawn to it. One of the duʿas of ʿUmar was: “O Allah, show me the truth as being the truth and bless me with following it.”

معرفة الخير والشر لا تكفي فقد تعرف الخير وتجد إعراضاً عنه وتعرف الشر وتجد إقبالا عليه، ومن دعاء عمر (اللهم أرني الحق حقا وارزقني اتباعه ..)

Sh Tarefe

Wherever you may be, death will overtake you, even if you should be within towers of lofty construction.

Wherever you may be, death will overtake you, even if you should be within towers of lofty construction. But if good comes to them, they say, “This is from Allah “; and if evil befalls them, they say, “This is from you.” Say, “All [things] are from Allah .” So what is [the matter] with those people that they can hardly understand any statement?

– Our creator, Quran

أَيْنَمَا تَكُونُوا يُدْرِككُّمُ الْمَوْتُ وَلَوْ كُنتُمْ فِي بُرُوجٍ مُّشَيَّدَةٍ ۗ وَإِن تُصِبْهُمْ حَسَنَةٌ يَقُولُوا هَٰذِهِ مِنْ عِندِ اللَّهِ ۖ وَإِن تُصِبْهُمْ سَيِّئَةٌ يَقُولُوا هَٰذِهِ مِنْ عِندِكَ ۚ قُلْ كُلٌّ مِّنْ عِندِ اللَّهِ ۖ فَمَالِ هَٰؤُلَاءِ الْقَوْمِ لَا يَكَادُونَ يَفْقَهُونَ حَدِيثًا


“A friend will not (literally) share your struggles, an a loved one cannot physically take away your pain, and a close one will not stay up the night on your behalf…so look after yourself, protect it, nurture it…and don’t give life’s events more than what they are really worth…Be certain that when you break no one will heal you except you, and when you are defeated no one will give you victory except your determination…your ability to stand up again and carry on is your responsibility…Do not look for your self worth in the eyes of people; look for your worth from within your conscience…if your conscience is at peace then you will ascend high…and if you truly know yourself then what is said about you won’t harm you.

Do not carry the worries of this life… because this is for Allah…and do not carry the worries of sustenance because it is from Allah…and do not carry the anxiety for the future because it is in the Hands of Allah…

Carry one thing: How to Please Allah. Because if you please Him, He Pleases you, fulfills you and enriches you. Do not weep from a life that made your heart weep…just say “oh Allah compensate me with good in this life and the hereafter”.
Sadness departs with a sajdah…happiness comes with a sincere du’a…Allah Does Not forget the good you do…nor Do He Forget the good you did to others and the pain you relieved them from…Nor Will He Forget the eye which was about to cry but you made it laugh…

Live your life with this principle: Be good even if you don’t receive good…not because of other’s sake but because Allah Loves the good doers”.

Ibn Qayyim