Self-Respect vs. Vanity, Protection of Self vs. Arrogance, Humility vs. Humiliation

 

There are certain things that the soul often confuses and mixes up, and only those with deep insight and wisdom are able to properly distinguish between them. Ibn al-Qayyim points out some of these fine details and distinctions that should be made.

i) Self-Respect vs. Vanity

“Self-respect is to make your soul rise above the petty and insignificant things that cause people to bend their necks pursuing. So, he prevents himself from this.

This is different from arrogance, which is a characteristic that is born from two things: being impressed with oneself and belittling others. So, arrogance is born from these two things, and the first (i.e. self-respect) is born from two things: honoring oneself and making it noble…

The basis for all of this is to prepare and condition the soul, and to place preference for its Owner over it. So, if one fails in his preparation and conditioning, he has failed in everything.”

ii) Protection of Self vs. Arrogance

“The one who protects himself is like the man who puts on some new clothes, pure and white, and expensive. So, he enters upon the kings and those below them in these clothes. He strives to protect these clothes from any stains or dirt that could affect its whiteness and purity. So, you see him looking noble and constantly escaping from the places where he fears could make his clothes dirty. He does not allow any stain or speck of dirt to come onto his clothes.

This is the likeness of the one who strengthens and builds his heart and religion: you see him avoiding any stains of sin, as they stain the heart and dirty it more than any blot of dirt can dirty a pure, white garment. However, the eyes are covered from seeing these stains. So, you see him running from any potential stain, being cautious around the people, seldom mixing with them out of fear that the same thing would occur to his heart that occurred to his white clothing when he was around the butchers and cooks.

This is different from the one who elevates himself, as even if he is similar to the above in his avoidance of these things, he intends with this to step over the people’s necks and to put them under his feet. So, this is a color, and that is another color.”

iii) Humility vs. Humiliation

“Humility is born from a) knowledge of Allah, His Names, His Attributes, and His Loftiness, as well as loving and elevating Him, and b) knowing himself and his faults well.

So, from these two comes the characteristic of humility, and it is the subduing of the heart to Allah and lowering the wing of submission and mercy to His servants. So, he does not see any virtue that he has over others, and he sees no rights of his over others. Rather, he sees the virtue of others over him, and he sees their rights before his own. This is a characteristic that Allah gives to those He Loves and wishes to make noble and close to Him.

As for humiliation, it is lowliness and exertion of the soul in acquiring what it desires, like the humility of the low ones in fulfilling their desires, the humility of the victim to his oppressor, and the humility of anyone who seeks something from someone else to that person. This is all lowliness and inferiority, and has nothing to do with true humility. Allah Loves humility, and He hates lowliness and humiliation. It is reported in the ‘Sahih’ that the Messenger of Allah said: “It was revealed to me that you should be humble such that none should boast over others, and none should transgress against others.”“

[‘ar-Ruh’; p. 313-317]

Via Iskandrani

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Gentleness

 

You can attract people to evil through gentleness more than you can attract them to good through harshness, and even if they are convinced [to do the good], they would hate doing it. He ﷺ said, “Whoever is deprived of gentleness is, in fact, deprived of all good.”

يستطيع الإنسان جذب الناس بالرفق إلى الشر، أكثر من جذبهم بالفظاظة إلى الخير، ولو اقتنعوا كرهوا العمل به قال ﷺ (من يُحرم الرفق يحرم الخير كله

Sh Tarefe

The Bond Between Husband and Wife is from the Most Hated Affairs to Shaytaan

The Bond Between Husband and Wife is from the Most Hated Affairs of Shaytaan

Narrated Jabir (radhiAllaahu ‘anhu) that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said:

“Iblees places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife. The Satan goes near him and says: You have done well. A’mash said: He then embraces him.”

[Saheeh Muslim. Number 2813]

Sadness

Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness.

Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

Struggles.

“A friend will not (literally) share your struggles, an a loved one cannot physically take away your pain, and a close one will not stay up the night on your behalf…so look after yourself, protect it, nurture it…and don’t give life’s events more than what they are really worth…Be certain that when you break no one will heal you except you, and when you are defeated no one will give you victory except your determination…your ability to stand up again and carry on is your responsibility…Do not look for your self worth in the eyes of people; look for your worth from within your conscience…if your conscience is at peace then you will ascend high…and if you truly know yourself then what is said about you won’t harm you.

Do not carry the worries of this life… because this is for Allah…and do not carry the worries of sustenance because it is from Allah…and do not carry the anxiety for the future because it is in the Hands of Allah…

Carry one thing: How to Please Allah. Because if you please Him, He Pleases you, fulfills you and enriches you. Do not weep from a life that made your heart weep…just say “oh Allah compensate me with good in this life and the hereafter”.
Sadness departs with a sajdah…happiness comes with a sincere du’a…Allah Does Not forget the good you do…nor Do He Forget the good you did to others and the pain you relieved them from…Nor Will He Forget the eye which was about to cry but you made it laugh…

Live your life with this principle: Be good even if you don’t receive good…not because of other’s sake but because Allah Loves the good doers”.

Ibn Qayyim

How do I become a Muslim?

The Shahada can be declared as follows :

“ASH-HADU AN LA ELAHA ILLA-ALLAH WA ASH-HADU ANNA MOHAMMADAN RASUL-ALLAH”.

The English translation is :

“I bear witness that there is no deity (none truly to be worshipped) but, Allah, and I bear witness that Mohammad is the messenger of Allah.”

However, it would not be sufficient for anyone to only utter this testimony oraly either in private or in public; but rather, he should believe in it by heart with a firm conviction and unshakeable faith. If one is truly sincere and complies with the teachings of Islam in all his life, he will find himself a new born person.

More here.

A disturbing reality.

One of the most disturbing realities about the Day of Judgement is that you will find yourself unable to hand over a single good deed to your mother, father, child, spouse or friend, despite your intense love for them, for you will be just as desperate for every good deed as they are.

On the other hand, you will be forced to hand over your good deeds to people whom you’d despised, people whom you’d back stabbed, mocked, abused or oppressed in any way.

Isn’t it such a strange contrast?

All of a sudden, it becomes clear why one of the names of this Day is ‘Yowmul Hasra’/ ‘The Day of regret’

وَأَنْذِرْهُمْ يَوْمَ الْحَسْرَةِ إِذْ قُضِيَ الْأَمْرُ وَهُمْ فِي غَفْلَةٍ وَهُمْ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ

“And warn them of the Day of Regret, when the matter will be decided; and yet, they are in a state of carelessness, and they do not believe.”

(Al-Qur’an, Surah 19, Ayah 39)

Suggestions:

1) Ponder over the above yet again.

2) Without a second thought, rush to s/he whom you owe an apology.

Ali Hammuda